When I perform for mostly white audiences, it’s challenging, because I can’t help but feel the weight of that. The audience was very supportive of the performance, but I was kind of like, “what? What is this now?” Black folks have long been considered or used as entertainment for white folks. I did do a show recently where I performed ‘Black Supremacist’, and I looked around and there were no Black people. MD: Do you recall any performance where you felt like your message was perceived the wrong way, or people weren’t understanding what you were trying to convey?ĪH: As BiG SiSSY, I always feel great after the shows. When I do it as BiG SiSSY, I’m in control and it also feels like a bit of a “fuck you, you want me to look pretty - well, how’s this?” But when I uphold these feminine stereotypes, it’s not for you it’s not for the male gaze, because usually by the end of it people are slightly grossed out, which is nice. In a way, I do like to present my gender like that, but only when I want to. I felt like society has told me, “you have these feminine traits that we find sexy, and you should show them off.” So, with BiG SiSSY, I just go at it at full force: my ass is hanging, and everything is on display – my hair is long, I’m hyper-feminized, and hypersexual. I also wanted to perform as BiG SiSSY to understand gender better and to turn it into a source of freedom, as it didn’t use to be. And I’ve never been interested in acting the way people wanted to perceive me. Whenever people find out I’m a musician, they would remark, “oh, you sing jazz, right?” I know that’s what you want, I know you want me up on stage, in an evening gown, singing jazz… That’s how you want me. Equally, being a singer with a fairly clean-toned voice, I’ve been performing an idealized version of myself for mostly white audiences. MD: What is the relationship between your gender and your personas, or between identity and performance?ĪH: As somebody who’s been raised or perceived as female and as being “pretty,” I’ve often felt like I was performing my gender. “There is a bit of dissociation that happens when I look out into the crowd, looking specifically for black faces, and I don’t see them.” – Athena Holmes Holmes unfold? Would they ever meet? If so, how?ĪH: I think they would write music together they would probably write a song! It would probably be about smashing the patriarchy or destroying capitalism.ĪH: No! I’m still down to say the things that I say through BiG SiSSY in my other projects, but I would just say it in a more polite way. MD: How would an encounter between BiG SiSSY and Ms. I asked my friends who have seen BiG SiSSY, “what astrological sign do you think BiG SiSSY is?” and they were like, “well, obviously a Scorpio,” and I’m a Scorpio, too. MD: So, would you say that BiG SiSSY is yourself or an alter ego?ĪH: It is an alter ego, but it is definitely a lot of me. As an artist, I try to push myself outside of my boundaries in life in general, but is sort of a safe environment where I can experiment and see what comes out. I wanted an outlet where I could push my own boundaries as a performer in terms of what I thought was “okay” or “going too far,” and push myself outside of my comfort zone. I had to ask myself, “why does this make you uncomfortable? Is there actually anything wrong with what this person is doing? Why do you think they should be doing it differently?” I had to question my own judgments about what I thought was permissible on stage, or what I thought was the right way to act. I had seen some performances where people were doing things that made me really uncomfortable. BiG SiSSY… I’m not sure what the catalyst for that starting was. is for my own songs and ideas, or if I get a commission to write, I’ll write under that name. Holmes is my singer-songwriter project which I’ve been doing since I started playing music. The McGill Daily (MD): Were your projects born at the same time, or one after the other? Were there any events in your artistic career or life that inspired your personas?Īthena Holmes (AH): They were not born at the same time. The McGill Daily sat down with Athena to chat about personas, performance, race, gender, black supremacy, and healing. BiG SiSSY is from Black Star Planet, and her show is an Afrofuturist rock-opera. Holmes, a roots, blues and jazz singer-songwriter, and BiG SiSSY, a drag performer from another planet. Athena Holmes (they/them) is a performing artist with two personas: Ms.
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